Archive | December, 2009
Obama: You Know What? I Give Myself a B-Plus
Because he’s that awesome. WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama, in an interview that aired Sunday, gave himself “a good solid B-plus” grade for his first year in office. Speaking with fellow Chicagoan Oprah Winfrey, the president claimed progress on economic and international fronts. Obama said the only thing that stands in the way of giving [...]
Quote of the Day
13. December 2009
“In the spirit of the American system, I just increased my wealth by purchasing a new box of checks from my bank.” –H. Robert Schroeder
Attack Leaves Italy’s Berlusconi Bloodied
13. December 2009
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi was attacked during a rally in Milan today, leaving him with broken teeth, cuts to his lip, and a minor nose fracture. He’s now recovering in a hospital and is said to be doing well. Massimo Tartaglia was arrested at the scene for allegedly carrying out the attack. He apparently [...]
DPRK Plane Carrying Smuggled Arms Seized in Thailand
13. December 2009
How does a country as seemingly poor as North Korea (DPRK) finance its costly nuclear weapons program? Apparently by illegally smuggling arms to countries such as Iran, Pakistan, and Afghanistan. Despite a UN ban on arms sales from the country back in 2006, it’s believed the DPRK earns $1 billion per year through the practice. [...]
Nevada Brothel to Offer State’s First Male Prostitutes
13. December 2009
Apparently Nevada state health laws require prostitutes to undergo regular cervical testing, effectively barring males from engaging in legal prostitution. But now urethral testing has been approved for males and the Silver State is set to get its first John Doe hookers. The world is ready for women, or even other men, to legally buy [...]
Uganda Bans Female Circumcision
13. December 2009
The good news: Female genital mutilation has finally been banned in Uganda. The bad news: Female genital mutilation was legal in Uganda until yesterday. (CNN) — The Ugandan parliament unanimously passed a bill banning female genital mutilation, a traditional rite that has sparked an international outcry and is practiced in some African and Asian communities. [...]
Designer of 50-Star American Flag Dies at 67
13. December 2009
Robert G. Heft, designer of the fifty-star American flag, has passed away at 67 of unknown causes. Believe it or not, the current American flag was designed by Heft for a high school history project. He spent 12 hours with his mother’s sewing machine to create the prototype. He originally received a B- for the [...]
Breaking: Tiger Woods to Take Indefinite Break from Golf
11. December 2009
I actually didn’t see this one coming. Sort of figured Woods would issue a “no more public statements” statement, and then work on fixing the family — if it can be fixed — while returning to professional golf as if nothing happened. But that isn’t the case. Effective immediately, he’s taking an indefinite break from [...]
But Of Course: Avatar Basically Left-Wing Propaganda
11. December 2009
Not just left-wing, either. In fact, I’m pretty sure my center-left and moderate Democratic friends couldn’t stomach this crap. We’re talking Code Pink/Keith Olbermann territory. The political import of Avatar — and there’s no waving this aspect away because it’s right in your face start to finish, and especially in the third act — is [...]
Breaking: Abercrombie (D-HI) To Resign
11. December 2009
Rep. Neil Abercrombie (D-HI) will resign his office before his term expires in order to focus on running for governor. The exact date his resignation will become effective is not yet known. Abercrombie has held his seat since 1991 and it’s likely to remain a safe one for Democrats.
14. December 2009
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