Hear that? It’s Jim DeMint laughing his ass off. Seriously, Alvin Greene has to be the most disastrous federal candidate in modern history.

He paid his filing fee and disappeared, was contacted by a reporter later on and appeared incoherent, faces pending felony charges, and evidently doesn’t even have a campaign manager or staff to find him one.

Here’s what Greene posted to Twitter earlier today:

need help findin a camapgin manager. hit me up at alvingreenesc@gmail.com. peace.

That interesting job posting was preceded by this:

please email me alvingreenesc@gmail.com for you volunteer. putting sc back to work!!!!!

And just now, Live5News asked Greene about Rep. James Clyburn (D-SC) calling for an investigation into his primary win:

@AlvinGreeneSC what do you think of Jim Clyburn calling for your primary victory to be investigated?

Response:

@Live5News Aint nuddin to me. i got the peopele behind me. i dont even know who he is.

At this point I have to wonder if Twitter has been fooled and this is a parody feed. So I go to Greene’s website, hoping to find a direct link to his Twitter account. No luck, but I did find his campaign platform:

# Unemployment – getting South Carolina back to work
# Lower gas prices for working people
# Foreign policy – A united, democratic Korea
# Justice system – There are too many prisons and not enough schools
# Labor – supporting the Charleston Five and the abolition of Taft-Hartley

Real specific and nuanced there, especially on unemployment and lower gas prices issues. But the best part is his focus on foreign policy: Uniting the Korean peninsula. Really? That’s what he’s pushing right now? He’s doomed.