A four-year-old girl accused of riding her bike, complete with training wheels, into an elderly woman on a Manhattan sidewalk can be sued for negligence, a New York judge has ruled. And no, this isn’t a story from The Onion.

The ruling by the judge, Justice Paul Wooten of State Supreme Court in Manhattan, did not find that the girl was liable, but merely permitted a lawsuit brought against her, another boy and their parents to move forward.

The suit that Justice Wooten allowed to proceed claims that in April 2009, Juliet Breitman and Jacob Kohn, who were both 4, were racing their bicycles, under the supervision of their mothers, Dana Breitman and Rachel Kohn, on the sidewalk of a building on East 52nd Street. At some point in the race, they struck an 87-year-old woman named Claire Menagh, who was walking in front of the building and, according to the complaint, was “seriously and severely injured,” suffering a hip fracture that required surgery. She died three months later of unrelated causes.

Now, suing the parents would be one thing. But the woman’s estate actually went after the children, suing them for negligence. And that’s when things get really twisted:

In legal papers, Mr. Tyrie added, “Courts have held that an infant under the age of 4 is conclusively presumed to be incapable of negligence.” (Rachel and Jacob Kohn did not seek to dismiss the case against them.)

But Justice Wooten declined to stretch that rule to children over 4. On Oct. 1, he rejected a motion to dismiss the case because of Juliet’s age, noting that she was three months shy of turning 5 when Ms. Menagh was struck, and thus old enough to be sued.

So Little Suzy is protected if she accidentally crashes her bike into someone on the sidewalk, just so long as she’s under the age of four. What’s that? Little Suzy is nearly five? Sue her ass! Take her for everything she’s got. Her Barbie dolls will be asking, “Mommy, what happened to our Dream House?”. Bwahahaha!

By the way, is anyone else noticing the warped logic in New York? Full-grown adults can’t be trusted to choose how much salt to put on their food, but four-year-old girls can be sued for negligence. That’s just twisted.