You didn’t think TSA employees are highly-trained security agents, did you? They’re effectively mall security on a power trip and with the permission to sexually assault you. A bunch of these people were flipping burgers in their last job. So let’s not be surprised that the agency isn’t quite laser-sighting its job listings.

(NewsCore) – Looking for a personal scan pizza?

The Transportation Security Administration is trying a new tack to fill a slew of screener positions — advertising on pizza boxes.

“A Career Where X-Ray Vision and Federal Benefits Come Standard,” screams a TSA ad appearing on pizza boxes popping up across the Washington, D.C., region, The Washington Post reported Tuesday.

“See yourself in a vital role for Homeland Security,” plead the advertisements.

Or, you too can sexually assault children!