Douchebag Julian Assange Has Children With Four Mistresses

Julian Assange, the notoriously douchey founder of terror-assisting organization Wikileaks, has fathered at least four children with mistresses across the globe. That according to Daniel Domscheit-BergBerg, a former spokesman for the group.

“Often I sat in large groups and listened to Julian boast about how many children he had fathered in various parts of the world. He seemed to enjoy the idea of lots and lots of Julians, one on every continent. Whether he took care of any of these alleged children, or whether they existed at all, was another question.”

Gawker reports that these children do indeed exist — and there are at least four of them.

Prominent Wikileaks volunteer and Swedish journalist Donald Bostrom told investigators in Sweden that Assange had “at least” four children, according to leaked police documents dealing with Assange’s ongoing rape and sexual molestation case. A former Wikileaks volunteer and a former friend of Assange both independently confirmed the number to us.

A former friend of Assange says the youngest of the offspring is just six-months-old. The oldest is reportedly a 20-year-old who lives in Assange’s homeland of Australia. It’s unknown who the mothers of the children are, but clearly helping terrorists by leaking classified security information is a babe magnet enterprise.

Why does he take pride in having so many illegitimate kids? Strap on your seatbelts, folks, because apparently Assange is even more narcissistic than previously believed.

The fixation on seeding the world with mini-leakers springs from a sense of inborn superiority, according our source. “He feels obliged to spread his genes. In other words, he thinks he is so good that the world needs more of his kids.” It seems the favors he does his kids largely end with whatever he contributes to their chromosomes: Daniel hasn’t seen his father since 2007.

He believes the mere presence of his genes in the global gene pool will make the world a better place. Never mind actually contributing to the welfare of his children. He thinks their mere presence leaves the world better off. Why? Because they have his genes.

Holy narcissistic douchebag, Batman.



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