Many of us have wondered just how low the taxpayer money-seeking “scientists” and their pals in the green, global warming alarmism community would stoop for a little wealth redistribution under the guise of saving the world.

Ladies and gentlemen, your answer.

It may not rank as the most compelling reason to curb greenhouse gases, but reducing our emissions might just save humanity from a pre-emptive alien attack, scientists claim…

The authors warn that extraterrestrials may be wary of civilisations that expand very rapidly, as these may be prone to destroy other life as they grow, just as humans have pushed species to extinction on Earth. In the most extreme scenario, aliens might choose to destroy humanity to protect other civilisations.

“A preemptive strike would be particularly likely in the early phases of our expansion because a civilisation may become increasingly difficult to destroy as it continues to expand. Humanity may just now be entering the period in which its rapid civilisational expansion could be detected by an ETI because our expansion is changing the composition of the Earth’s atmosphere, via greenhouse gas emissions,” the report states.

“Green” aliens might object to the environmental damage humans have caused on Earth and wipe us out to save the planet. “These scenarios give us reason to limit our growth and reduce our impact on global ecosystems. It would be particularly important for us to limit our emissions of greenhouse gases, since atmospheric composition can be observed from other planets,” the authors write.

In short, we need to destroy our economic systems and give up more of our wealth…or the aliens will come and kill us.

Jon Huntsman, call your office.

Allah, playing along, asks two relevant questions:

One: If E.T. is watching and worried about us conquering the galaxy or whatever, shouldn’t they have given us the Alderaan treatment at the start of the nuclear age? It’s inane to think they’d be more worried about climate change that we can’t control than catastrophic blasts of radioactive fire that we can.

Two: There’s no good reason to think that an alien intelligence’s knowledge of human civilization would be limited to a metric as crude as changes in the atmosphere. If they’re capable of invading or destroying us from afar, they’re probably capable of close observation to detect whether we’ve made any advances that might threaten other planets. Even if they’re limited to atmospheric observations, why wouldn’t they have destroyed us at the start of the industrial revolution when greenhouse gases first started filling the air?

Indeed. Apparently these aliens are advanced enough to invade us and wipe out civilization, but not so advanced that they knew an explosion of industry would lead to more pollution. And they’re concerned about a warmer planet but not thermonuclear war. Interesting aliens.

SETI searches for intelligent life on other planets. Perhaps it should redirect its efforts towards attempting to locate intelligent life at NASA.