Next time you’re in the freezer section looking for some ice cream, remember to avoid Ben & Jerry’s. They’ve thrown their lot in with the Marxist protesters last seen crapping on police cars.

We, the Ben & Jerry’s Board of Directors, compelled by our personal convictions and our Company’s mission and values, wish to express our deepest admiration to all of you who have initiated the non-violent Occupy Wall Street Movement and to those around the country who have joined in solidarity. The issues raised are of fundamental importance to all of us.

Let’s take a moment to remember Ben & Jerry’s is a division of Unilever, a multinational conglomerate with tens of billions of dollars of revenue. The company itself takes in hundreds of millions of dollars each year, and I’m doubting the two founders — Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield — are poor.

(Cohen, it should be noted, is also a reported supporter of Mumia Abu-Jamal, the cop-killer.)

Anyway, Ben & Jerry’s lists its following beliefs:

 The inequity that exists between classes in our country is simply immoral.

Why? Why should there be equality between one person who lives off welfare or didn’t bother graduating college and one who worked his ass off in college, built up a business, and became a success story? Inequity occurs in all societies — capitalistic and socialist alike.

We are in an unemployment crisis. Almost 14 million people are unemployed. Nearly 20% of African American men are unemployed. Over 25% of our nation’s youth are unemployed.

No thanks to the Democratic Party, which the company and its founders support. Obama’s been in office three years. How’s that working out? Oh, right, he’s overseen climbing unemployment and skyrocketing dependence on welfare.

Many workers who have jobs have to work 2 or 3 of them just to scrape by.

And? I had to work multiple jobs just to attend college. That happens. Working multiple jobs is nothing new, and “occupying” Wall Street isn’t going to change that.

 Higher education is almost impossible to obtain without going deeply in debt.

Oh really? Then maybe people should stop spending $150,000 to study interpretive dance. I had to take out loans, too. The difference was I went into a field that allowed me to pay them back. The government doesn’t exist to help fund people’s passion for 16th century Romanian literature.

 Corporations are permitted to spend unlimited resources to influence elections while stockpiling a trillion dollars rather than hiring people.

They’re permitted to spend like that because we live in a free country, in which we — and groups of individuals we call “corporations” — are guaranteed free speech. Which is why the Supreme Court ruled as much. As for stockpiling? They’re not confident in the economy. Occupying Wall Street isn’t going to instill confidence.

We know the media will either ignore you or frame the issue as to who may be getting pepper sprayed rather than addressing the despair and hardships borne by so many, or accurately conveying what this movement is about. All this goes on while corporate profits continue to soar and millionaires whine about paying a bit more in taxes. And we have not even mentioned the environment.

The media is mentioning pepper spray because protesters are vocally whining about getting pepper sprayed. Corporate profits rising is a good thing. When they fall, their stock falls, the market falls, and average people witness their investments and 401ks get slaughtered.

And by the way, after all of this whining about corporate spending on politics…Ben & Jerry’s talks about its own efforts to influence politics. I guess certain advocacy by corporations should be allowed. Just as long as it’s the right kind of advocacy.