Let’s face it: Kim Jong-un just wants all of Choco Pies for himself.
Some back story:
There’s a joint industrial complex between North and South Korea, where North Koreans — otherwise starving under communism — are employed by their capitalistic southern neighbors. At this complex, bosses have for years handed out chocolate and marshmallow treats called Choco Pies. The workers, who gladly take the treats home, have created a burgeoning black market in the North. In fact, reports say as many as 2.5 million are traded monthly.
But communism has a natural ideological opposition to all things fun, decent, and delicious. So authorities in North Korea have reportedly banned Choco Pies from the industrial complex. Instead, workers are supposed to get sausages and powdered coffee as treats. Because, you see, tasty capitalism is a threat to the hermit kingdom.
But North Korean officials soon were reported to be spreading anti-Choco Pie propaganda. One rumor: “South Korean authorities have added weird substances,” to the pies, the Daily NK reported. The Choco Pies were planted by the South to “shake our national defense,” according to another. “They are spying and scheming. If the products from the ‘neighborhood downstairs’ are enjoyed unconditionally, the ideology of the people could wither at any moment.”
The cultural bi-products of capitalism have always posed a threat to oppressive governments that keep their people starving and miserable. It used to be products like Coca-Cola and blue jeans. Now, in North Korea at least, it’s Choco Pies. Capitalism. Tasty, tasty capitalism.