Bizarre: UN to Appoint Ambassador to Aliens

If aliens ever land on Earth, Mazlan Othman will be the first person to officially hold talks with them. Or at least she’ll be the first United Nations official to do so. That’s because the global body has decided to appoint the obscure Malaysian physicist to the post of ambassador to aliens.

Mazlan Othman, the head of the UN’s little-known Office for Outer Space Affairs (Unoosa), is to describe her potential new role next week at a scientific conference at the Royal Society’s Kavli conference centre in Buckinghamshire.

She is scheduled to tell delegates that the recent discovery of hundreds of planets around other stars has made the detection of extraterrestrial life more likely than ever before – and that means the UN must be ready to coordinate humanity’s response to any “first contact”.

During a talk Othman gave recently to fellow scientists, she said: “The continued search for extraterrestrial communication, by several entities, sustains the hope that some day humankind will receive signals from extraterrestrials.

“When we do, we should have in place a coordinated response that takes into account all the sensitivities related to the subject. The UN is a ready-made mechanism for such coordination.”

A couple of things.

First of all, we’re assuming the extraterrestrial life would be capable of communicating with mankind. That is a major assumption considering we’re not even sure extraterrestrials would be anything more than microbes.

But let’s assume they are more intelligent and developed than simple microbes. Let’s assume they’re capable of walking and fly in space ships. What makes the UN think these individuals will come in peace and be willing to sit down for tea?

If they can land here, and assuming they don’t carry some disease that immediately wipes out the human race, why would they sit down with inferior life forms? After all, they’re the ones capable of reaching other planets with life — not us.

It’s quite presumptuous to think they just can’t wait to talk with us when they could enslave us all and take over the planet. Not everything in the universe takes diplomacy to the level of pansy-ass, UN.

I’m ending this post now. Because we’ve officially reached the point of absurdity.